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A DATE IN THE LIFE OF JAMIE |
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Our columnist Jamie arrived to the New York City dating scene about a year and a half ago. In that time, she has learned that this so-called dating scene is anything but normal. In this monthly column, Jamie recounts the nights she wished she stayed home and the nights she'll never forget. |
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My roommate and I thought it would be a great idea to go to happy hour on Saturday night from 6-9 before we went out. Yea, great idea that was, especially since right from there I was heading over to the girls' apartment to pre-game. Yet another great idea to start the night before the real part of Saturday night was even starting! In other words: another wild Saturday night out with the girls. We decided to hit up this place on 13th and 5th that we used to frequent but had not been to in a while -- sure omen for what qualifies as a more than decent night. Lindsay ran into some guy Scott she knew that went to Maryland or UMass or one of those schools that it seems that everyone and their mother attended. Scott said he was there for some guy's birthday party, but it was just a coincidence that my girls and I happened to be at the same place because we weren't there for the bday bash and we had no idea who the birthday boy was and we sure as hell had no intention on belting out "Happy Birthday To You" no matter how much alcohol we consumed! As Scott and Lindsay were talking, 2 guys walked up to our little group – one of them being the bday boy. Scott was starting to introduce my girls to the 2 guys, but I already spotted the one I knew I was going to reel in. He was wearing a black t-shirt with an oversized orange "5" on it. He had the cutest smile accompanied by only one dimple on his right cheek -- I was smiling at him before I even caught his name. "Hi. I'm Jamie". He then introduced himself by kissing me on the cheek and then backed away to flash me that dimple, on purpose, and then I was the one who got reeled in from that moment. We all chatted as a group for a while and then went our separate ways. I was not worried though because this guy actually caught my eye (which very rarely happens), but more importantly, I caught his. |
I was reminded when I later re-discovered my girls on the opposite
end of the lounge and they exclaimed, "Where
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Not much later in the night, I saw birthday boy standing at the bar, so I wedged my way in between the girls standing around him and pushed myself right in between him and the bar so we were standing face-to-face. He showed me his solo dimple yet again and all I could think about was how cute he was -- and how drunk I was, which explains why I was so courageous to nuzzle my body right next to his and wade my way thru the crowd of blondes surrounding him (but hey, I was a blonde too!). We chatted for a few, not that I remember much of the conversation all that much to be honest. But I do remember spending the rest of the night with him from that point on. We headed downstairs and he introduced me to all of his friends (not that I remember any of their names even though I did use the "repeat" rule I have suggested to others in the past). So, when I say we hung out the entire night, I mean the ENTIRE night. And although I wasn't exactly sure how much time had truly passed in my drunken state, I was reminded when I later re-discovered my girls on the opposite end of the lounge and they exclaimed, "Where the fuck have you been all night?!" Ooops. I have a tendency to disappear during the night and I always come back to them with some crazy story. This time I just said, "I have been hanging out with that birthday boy all night who has been dragging me around and introducing me to his entire celebrating entourage." For some inexplicable reason, I left that night without ever saying bye to bday boy, but of course not before I gave him my number (I am not THAT dumb). To my surprise he called me mid-afternoon the very next day, obviously not joining the rest of the male ranks who think that the right thing to do is not call for 4 goddamn days. The phone conversation went pretty well, except for the part where he gave me shit for not giving him a birthday kiss. He asked me to get together for a movie later that night, but I already had plans. He probably thought I was blowing his ass off, but for once I was actually telling the truth. We decided to get together the upcoming Tuesday, and just like he said he would, he called me Tuesday afternoon. Damn, this guy was actually 2 for 2 on the calling ballot. However, when he tried to make plans, that just did not go as smoothly as the previous events. He wanted me to come to his apartment and watch a movie. Ummm, no!! Yea sure, he was cute and most likely harmless, but how the hell did I know that for sure?? I could tell I was really pissing him off, but he just didn't understand that a girl in Manhattan has to be very careful with the random guys we meet in bars at night - we cant just go to a random guy's apartment and hope that he is not a psycho rapist killer. So, instead of his let's-hang-out-at-my-apartment idea, I suggested we meet at a lounge by his apartment and have a few drinks. Let me put it this way: it did not go well. After 2 drinks, we ditched the lounge and went to get some pizza. A little better, but not by that much of a stretch. |
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On my cab ride home, I was trying to figure out what the hell went wrong from that great night we had together on Saturday to this date from hell that had just occurred. He was cute, nice and intelligent - so what went wrong? As I ran thru the night in my head and the conversations we had had, I realized that I had been a complete and utter bitch and I had no idea why I had acted in such a repulsive way!? Did I think he would like that? Did I think it made me look cool? Or was it just a defense mechanism? Whatever deranged reason I had come up with to act that way, it was totally off and totally wrong. A few days later I gave him a call and apologized for my ridiculous and absurd behavior -- and for some odd reason -- he accepted my apology and my suggestion to give me another chance. I am happy to report that the 2nd date (dinner and a movie at his place) went very well. We got along really well and laughed much more than we did the last time (not that that was a hard record to beat). Since then, bday boy and I have hung out a few times and I must say, that 1st horrific date was definitely not an implication of how things are going right about now. I know I said in a past column that I usually know right off the bat if I like someone or not, but did confess to being wrong here and there. Well, this was a "here or there" kinda situation. I kicked my cynicism out the door and not only did I give us a second chance, but more importantly, I gave myself a second chance to see if I was able to open new doors to new possibilities that I normally would have closed in the past. I am glad I picked up the phone and made that apology because I learned that I was capable of standing up to my own wrongdoings, and when I face my own mistakes, the result can really only be positive, which may just be the perfect way to bring in this New Year. |