Sugarzine : Queens

The Quays: A Taste of Queens Open Mic

by Lizabeth Nieves

Nestled on an off street in the middle of Astoria, the Quays appears like any loud Irish bar found in the boroughs. Push your way into the swinging doors on a Sunday night, and you will realize that you have stumbled into a cozy enclave of something a little more magical than your typical open mic. Welcoming to all who attend, last night despite the frigid temperatures, the Quays was packed with bodies, some there to celebrate their three day weekend with an extra night of boozing and some there in loyal support of the local talent singing their heart out on stage.

Hosted by Astorian, Jimmy Artache, there are no big announcements just each performer taking the stage and singing a combination of originals and covers. Squeezing through the throng of people last night, we sat and watched Jimmy play. Harmonica strapped around his neck, Artache sang a melancholic set of Leonard Cohen, Beatles and Neil Young covers. He was followed by Sam, whose set of original songs, shifted into covers in hopes of getting the crowds attention. At this point, the crowd emptied, leaving the music for the people who were there to listen. Janene Otten took the stage and started singing the traditional Irish music that is her specialty. One man in the audience started singing along, and before long the crowd was focused and one with the music.

Each regular performer that takes the stage after, brings something to the night that is expected and a little bit exciting in its familiarity. There's Sean, the cherubic young piano tuner, who's versions of Bob Dylan are touchingly heartfelt. Kelly, in a duet with Jimmy, sweetly sang a kinder version of a few Aimee Mann tunes. Gus followed with a few original songs that were familiar to any who have sat late at night in the Quays. It was pointed out that one song performed had been written for Shane McGowan by Gus and Jimmy. Scott had not played in years, but when he took the stage and sang all original songs, there was no shyness, just another musician that had found a place to share and hone his craft.

There is no exclusivity here. Everyone is welcome and encouraged. Strongly encouraged, by the shouts of the audience and fellow performers. Feel like coming down and singing? Show up by 9. The Quays doesn't take plastic, and the bartendar is known for "being a good musician" more than his bartending skills, but the buy backs are plenty. Next time you have a Monday off and can stay out late, stop by the Quays for a pint and a taste of the local talent in Queens.

The Quays: 46-02 30th ave. in Astoria

Evil Resides in Astoria
My Evening with Schaffer the Darklord

by Melissa Cruz

Just a few days before the Christmas holiday approached, I found myself in the corner of a bar underneath the 30th Ave stop on the N/W line. Despite the rainy weather, the overly excited waitress sat us in the heated garden area. It was decided that this would be the quietest spot to properly interview local legend Schaffer the Darklord. As we got drunk at the barely inhabited bar, the topics of discussion ranged from the addictive wonders of Project Runway to life on the road to, most importantly, the release of the Darklord’s second CD “Mark of the Beast.”

Sugarzine first introduced you to Schaffer the Darklord almost four years ago. I was not yet a writer for the ‘zine, however I fondly remember his auspicious New York premiere. It was actually right here in Astoria Queens at the now defunct and sorely missed dive bar Tupelo. Patrons swarmed the sidewalk with beers and hot dogs in celebration of Labor Day. Having heard there was an open spot in the musical line-up, the San Franciscan musician stormed the stage with his little black box and introduced us to his special brand of ‘geek rap.’ And the rest, as they say, is history.

But is ‘geek rap’ the correct way to identify what Schaffer does? STD’s music is quirky, unusual and ultimately difficult to define. He has just come off a successful tour with the Godfather of Nerdcore Hip Hop, MC Frontalot. Is Schaffer then nerdcore? According to the Darklord himself, “By the criteria of nerdcore, I’m not really a nerdcore rapper. I just happen to be a rapper AND I’m a nerd.” When asked the awful but necessary question of how do you categorize your music, Schaffer replies, “I always say it’s rap, but I don’t say it’s hip-hop because hip-hop encapsulates a whole culture. I would be such a fraud if I were pretending I had anything to do with that. The only elements of hip-hop culture that I can really ‘represent’ is the rapping part. So, I say it’s rap music.”

The very act of trying to categorize Schaffer’s music has caused controversy. Just a glance at the You Tube page currently hosting his music video “The Rappist” will give some insight as to the type of passion his music evokes whether it be positive or negative. Many You Tubers use the page as a forum to fiercely debate The Darklord’s hip-hop and rap credibility. But for all the scathing, sometimes grammar-challenged comments, there are just as many adoring fans fawning over his witty rhymes culminating in over 443,000 You Tube views to date.

As we order another round, Schaffer happily shares stories of daily hate mail he receives and tales of nasty reviews. But many ‘haters’ may not be aware of the versatility that his fans are so fond of. Schaffer started honing his Darklord act while performing as a stand-up comedian in San Francisco. He also spent a year hosting his own variety show called “The Dark Show” which featured a slew of New York’s most eclectic alternative acts. The rappist can now be seen regularly hosting the most popular burlesque shows in town. When I ask him about his time as a stand-comedian, Schaffer reveals that it was mainly to sharpen his music. He credits his time on stage doing stand-up with helping him to pace his rap show and make his live act unique. Luckily, he left the Kiss-inspired costume he once wore behind as part of the casualties of creating fine art.

The conversation turns to what life is like for a strictly independent artist especially in the ever-changing world of music. The climate has certainly changed a lot in the past few years since Sugarzine last spoke with Schaffer the Darklord. He goes on to say, “When the first album came out I was still in San Francisco and I was just sure ‘When I move to New York I’m gonna blow up and they’ll be labels just begging me to put out my next one’, which clearly is not the case.” It seems that his lack of a record label has been more of a blessing than a curse for the rappist. “Mark of the Beast” has been selling very well due to his recent tour and is having continued success on iTunes. “The internet has changed things so profoundly in the three years between these two albums that I can’t imagine looking for a label again. Within the first week of the tour the album paid itself off. God Bless the internet for making that possible.” Schaffer also give thanks to MC Frontalot and the exposure the recent tour has given him. Not to mention they all seem to have had an absolute blast together while on the road.

I left the bar sufficiently tipsy with my brand new copy of “Mark of the Beast” ready to upload as soon I return home from the rainy night. The CD is pure fun. A welcomed addition to my iPod that regularly makes me chuckle in the street. How can I not laugh at a piece of dialogue sampled from The Goonies that references Astoria? Yes, I know The Goonies took place in Oregon but if you’re from the neighborhood it’s funny. My favorite track “Nerd Lust” is a happy homage to smart, goofy, Star Wars lovin’, drama class girls. Any guess why it’s my favorite? “Tin Man” finally realizes the potential terror of the famed heartless Wizard of Oz character and “Bitter Musician” is reminiscent of almost everyone I know. For those who’ve seen Schaffer the Darklord live, you will recognize some of the tracks on the album but seasoned with a sprinkling of new beats. For those who are new to The Darklord experience, keep an eye out for his live performances. Seeing is believing.

Here are some Schaffer the Darklord essentials:

“Mark of the Beast” is currently available on iTunes

Check out the music video for “The Rappist” at: www.youtube.com/schafferthedarklord

Subscribe to “Killing Time with STD” video podcast at: http://killingtimewithstd.blogspot.com/

Do all of the above and more at: www.myspace.com/schafferthedarklord

Always Take McGuinness

by Melissa Cruz

While sitting in traffic on the BQE last Tuesday evening with angry fists raised toward the gods, I became inspired to share a little tip with all my fellow Queens drivers. Some of you may already be hip to this, but if not, let this be your new mantra: “Always take McGuinness. Always take McGuinness. Always take McGuinness.” For some reason I neglected to do this last week late at night knowing I’d end up sitting in traffic and only getting about four hours of sleep.

This little trick I discovered from a taxi driver several years ago. At first I was hesitant. I am always hesitant when a cabbie takes me someplace I don’t recognize. This is when I usually call my husband on my cell and keep him on speakerphone to make sure I’m not mutilated and left by the side of the road. Hey, you can’t be too careful. This evening held joyous surprises however! It was then that I discovered if I get off at the McGuinness Boulevard exit off the BQE it would lead me through Greenpoint over the Pulaski Bridge and into Long Island City. Hooray! I’ve been reaping the benefits of this knowledge for years and now I pass it on to you. It’s a much more direct route from Williamsburg to the Long Island City/Astoria area and with less traffic.

But how does this help me if I don’t drive, you ask? This shortcut has made cab rides home faster and cheaper as well. Having drinks on the Lower East Side and are dreading the hour long subway ride? Have your cab drive you over the Williamsburg Bridge and take the very first exit off the BQE. This is McGuinness Boulevard. Your cab driver may argue a bit, but assure him that you know where you are going and it’s very easy. Make a left at the end of the off ramp and take McGuinness all the way to Jackson Avenue in Long Island City (Jackson Ave will be at the foot of the Pulaski Bridge). Easy peasy. This has saved me $7-$10 per cab ride! I kid you not.

I hope this helps all of my avid readers in the future and you don’t end up like me furiously sitting in my car somewhere between the Queens Blvd exit and Roosevelt Ave. If you are looking to give thanks I accept chocolate and flowers. Don’t tempt fate: Always take McGuinness.

Art House Flicks in Forest Hills

by Melissa Cruz

If you are tired of schlepping over to the Angelika anytime you want to see the latest Ang Lee film and you are of the belief that you can enjoy a smart independent movie without having to sip on ten-dollar cappuccinos, then your prayers have been answered. Ladies and gentlemen I give you The Cinemart Cinemas at 106-03 Metropolitan Avenue in Forest Hills.

For the unheard of price of $8.50 you can catch any film that would normally require a journey to the Angelika or Sunshine. You can also purchase popcorn WITH BUTTER and a medium coke for the bargain basement price of $6.00. That’s popcorn AND soda! TOGETHER! This gem of a theatre is a quick subway ride from Astoria, Woodside or Sunnyside and by my calculations a faster trip than taking the subway to SoHo. Thankfully, the patrons lack that smugness that hangs in the air amongst the intellectual film crowd in Manhattan.

At the moment you can see “Lars and The Real Girl”, “Lust Caution” (NC-17 = boobies!), “Control” (aka The Joy Division flick) and catch “Into the Wild” if you missed it. I will warn you that the theatre is not as esthetically pleasing as the Angelika. The screens are small, the prints are a tad worn and you may hear some sound bleeding from the next theater however the atmosphere can be charming if you are a low maintenance art aficionado. It’s certainly worth it if you take advantage of the mind blowing five-dollar Wednesday. Yes, all shows on Wednesday are only five dollars! Normally, one would have to travel to the Florida panhandle or catch the early bird dinner theater special in Boca Raton for a movie this reasonable, but alas it’s been right around the corner in your own borough this whole time! Happy indie-going!

To Slurpee Or Not To Slurpee?

by Melissa Cruz

Nine years ago I made the big move from 34th Street and 30th Avenue in Astoria to 29th Street…also off 30th Avenue. Yes, an entire 5 blocks away and a whole new world. Back then the corner of 30th Ave and 30th Street was home to the beloved Rainbow Diner. Personally, I preferred to call it the Rainblow. You all remember, right? They had the giant menu in the window boasting a delightful ‘holiday sauce’ with their eggs benedict. Since that time, the Rainblow has faded into memory having been replaced by the chic restaurant with the killer Penne ala Vodka, Park Kafe, and now the scope of the corner has changed once again. That corner now buzzes with the florescent glow of a 7-11.

One of the things I’ve always loved about Astoria was its local flavor. To wander around this neighborhood and only happen upon a Starbucks after a solid half hour walk is refreshing. You really feel as if you live in an actual neighborhood. Yet there it is, that green, red and white eyesore that sits on my corner.

For those of you who get the same sinking feeling in their tummies when they pass the evil 7-11 on their way to the N train, yet are tempted to cross it’s doors anyway, I’ve created a helpful list.

• Craving a fancy coffee? Don’t give in to the hazelnut-irish crème crap blend that 7-11 has fooled you into thinking is tasty coffee. For only a buck more you can have a delicious frappe, cappuccino or café latte to-go from Plaza Café. They reside almost directly across the street on the corner of 29th Street and 30th Avenue

• Just want a simple Cup O Joe? Also on the corner of 29th and 30th is an unassuming bodega called Acapulco. For only less than a dollar you can grab a hot, potent plain ‘ol cup of coffee and support the local Mexican owner who has waved good morning at me for the past four years. This is something you won’t get at the 7-11: a cheerful smile and a chance to practice some of your Spanish. You can also get homemade tamales.

• Need the latest copy of Vibe? There are a total of four magazine stands within the same one block radius as the dreaded 7-11. While grabbing your music mag or porn rag, you can also grab an Arizona Iced Tea, Poland Spring water or whatever beverage you were thinking of buying at 7-11. Chips are also in abundance. Are we starting to see a pattern here?

There is nothing you can get there that you can not get from a local business except, of course, the slurpee. Now, I get very nostalgic about the refreshing slurpee. Nothing gives me fonder memories of living on Long Island. And if you’re from Long Island you already know these fond memories are few and far between.

Therefore, I will not shun you if I happen to see you leaving 7-11 in the middle of August (only when it’s 90 degrees) with a half Coke half Cherry slurpee in your hands. But that is your only excuse! Otherwise, resist the temptations of corporate convenience! Support your local businesses!! Hazelnut coffee is for soccer moms anyway.